alhamdulillah,finally i manage to online with my own decent internet connection.. just a prepaid dial-up though. gud enuff for me.. the only disadvantage(s) wud b (a)whenever i'm online,no one can call-in to our home phone and (b) it's kinda slow..
but as i sed, it's gud enuff for me.hehe
anyways,yesterday was a parents-teachers meeting in my niece & nephews primary school (used to be mine..eheh). it was also the day when the students get to know the results of their 1st sem examination. oh,well... Alhamdulillah,my niece & nephews are doing quite..ok,I guess. some did badly though but.. urm..i don't know what to say about that.
there's something that i realized in my own 'big family' where it actually "consists" of 4 small families (me with my parents; sister jane with aby; bro justin with family & bro tommy with his own family as well).
what i realize was that there's types of parents..hehe. Parenthood eh? First of all the "don't-care" type. this type of parents usually don't bother about their own children's performance in school (academic or co-curriculum) or even their activities. sometimes the kids were free to do as they like and also, even when they don't deserve it at all.. they can get almost everything that they want (may it be expensives clothes, handphones or anything). It's not that I am so against this type of parents..but too much freedom for the kids may just as well backfire the parents. Most kids nowadays that have too much freedom given tend to just enjoy themselves without learning the important values in life such as educations, being hardworking for a better life (as well as to go on with life) and even moral values. Why I said moral values is because I can observe from my of nephews when they don't just speak rudely to their own parents but even use cursing words. In Al-Quran, even to say 'ah' or 'eh' to parents is something that Allah forbids! What about cursing words? That'll be worst,of course! Like I said earlier, I am not against this type of parents at all but with the freedom they entrusted to their children, they must be strict as well. Don't give too much freedom until these kids don't even know when is the limit for them.
Ok,the next type will be the "giving-some-sort-of-pressure" type. pressure given by these type of parents has its many kinds. hehe. some gave pressure to their children about their academic achievement where other that top score or being no.1 in class or getting As is not an option for the children at all. One of my sister-in-law sort of did this to her son. I know my nephew is a bright student,even with his extreme naughtiness. But kids are just kids,when the parents expect them to be the VERY best or top in class..where in being so,the kid has to work very hard, it could stress the kid out. Even an adult sometimes can't handle a stress on his own, think about the kid! Such burden will only make 'damage(s)' to these children. Poor them!! in the case of my own nephew, I heard that sometimes he was scared to show his tests/exams' results to his mother. Bahh..we need to be more considerate to these children~~ give some spaces to them. study time should be included with some playing time too. even within the study time, let the children have about 5-25 mins break after 25-35 mins of studying. InsyaAllah, it'll help the kids' brain to study better.
There is another type of parents which is the "controlling-type". The reason why they did it is simply because of love for their children BUT some parents didn't realize that their methods may not be suitable for their children or maybe it is/are just plainly wrong. Parents much be proactive as well as how teenagers should be proactive and responsive. What I meant here is that parent(s) should find a better approach to enter their children's world. Not simply by setting rules that their children may find it sophiscating (wonder if i use the right word.correct me if i dont!). Parents should talk more to their children,make them understand how much the parents love them and that as parents, one just want to be part of the children's world/life.
Oh,my... I hope I'm babbling of nonsense here. Just typing what I thought of..hehe.
Anyways, the conclusion is..I think parents should be more alert about their children's life. Give them freedom but not too much. Do guide them..but don't control them until they feel as if they can't breathe at all. Being moderate is good. Just like what Islam teaches, moderation is good.
Well...time for me to go for now.. I'm off to solat Asar first! tee-hee...!!