Bismillahirrahman nir rahim...
Woke up feeling queasy.
Got a dream about the guy that I like (really like) has a fiancee. FIANCEE!! >_< but he did say (in the dream) that he doesn't really like her though. Ugh... hope it's not true!! *heartbreaks*
But it doesn't mean that I want him so badly that I want him as my boyfriend/couple like other girls would. I do want to be someone special for him.
And for me,even if he could and become my special-one..I wanted him to stay the way he is now.. and I would love to limit ourselves as well. Means..there's no need of dating,holding hands,hugging,keep on saying 'I love you'.Instead, it's better to always advising each other,keeping distance until we're halal for each other(insya-Allah). Sounds crappy for modern couple? I don't mind. All I wanted is just..urm..ah, to be with him with the "permission" from Allah s.w.t. But Allah knows best. He knows everything. We planned,and He planned but His plan is always the best one for us. So, if that guy is not for me and I'm not for him..what can we (more like, me) can do. Redha only lahh... no need to fuss about it.
But seriously, I would be lying if I won't fuss about it. I'm human too,you see. That's why I must ensure I'm physically and emotionally ready with knowledges about Allah and Islam and also,most importantly; tawakal to Allah. La haula wa la quwatta illa billah.
ahh.. I felt like all the things I've typed are something that I'm been keeping inside and wanted to let out.Alhamdulillah,I've did it :) yatta!
I won't let this emotional feeling of love *roll eyes* let me down. I believe it could be part of Allah tests for me to see how much I love Him more. And Allah is the GREATEST LOVE of all. Allahu akhbar!
Here's something I typed in my N73 out of randomness yesterday (or maybe Friday);
Story of a "friend"
This friend of mine has liked a guy in the campus she attended for almost the longest time she ever fall for any guy in that campus. She herself doesn't understand much of her feelings towards him. When she first had crush on this guy,he didn't know who she is. She knew him for he is one of the top person in the campus.
Then, the guy eventually started to realize her presence and they became friends.
Up until now,they are still friends...good friends. She doesn't know if he did know about her feelings but she kept her silence. She wanted to tell him how important he is to her and that she likes him but afraid things might turn nasty for both of them.
And she,herself is not desperate in wanting to have couple or whatsoever.
She just like him for who he is, even that he doesn't have the looks (not handsome). That's not what she wants though.
So, now she can only let things flow as God has planned and pray to God so that she'll be with somebody as good as the guy or better than him or maybe if destined,with the guy himself.